If there is one thing I always struggled with in life it was compassion for those who weren’t fortunate enough to receive the education and life experiences that made me who I am. If someone said something I knew was factually inaccurate I was that first person going after them. As an activist I struggled with this notion time & time again. How could they not know where the money they gave to such & such company was supporting child labor in Malaysia? How could they not understand what they put into their bodies when they eat this & that? Haven’t these people opened a book? Don’t they have the internet? What are they, STUPID? 

Then I became a mother. 

I felt a compassion & sympathy like I had never felt before. I still have my fight, don’t get me wrong, but I realize that the way I was approaching such topics was wrong. It wasn’t helping anyone - it was making me frustrated with the human race & pissing off my peers. I hurt many people in my path for nothing. Since becoming a mother my focus has changed. I’m so much more interested in advocating for the rights of babies & their families. I struggle with the medical profession with a trust for them to offer what is right for my child and I hit a wall every time. Whether it’s regarding how I choose to birth my baby, vaccinations, breastfeeding, or the topic of circumcision -which is what prompted this post in particular. I love to see a strong, passionate woman fight for what she believes in. However, if you want to be an advocate for one who cannot speak for themselves I whole heartedly believe it, generally, needs to be approached with compassion and love. 

You will rarely find a mother who chooses to adhere to the advice of medical professionals with the intent on purely harming their little one. We are talking about vulnerable women who want to make the best decisions they possibly can. I belong to a variety of networking sites dedicated to raising awareness about infant circumcision. I am against it for many reasons, but that isn’t the argument here today. A story gets posted about how a mother chose to circumcise her infant and the crowd goes wild. This person is belittled, demeaned, and spoken to like a true invalid. Where is the love? Where is the sympathy? Where is the compassion? 

Sure, I struggle with the emotions of anger & disgust when I see things like this. I wonder HOW could this have happened? HOW could this mother believe what the doctors told her? Then I remember…there was a time when I didn’t know anything about this kind of thing. I would buy into what medical professionals told me because…why would they lie about my baby’s health? They took an oath to do no harm! It wasn’t until someone approached me with compassion & resources that I began to understand and so my path was moved once again. 

It’s only when we stop tearing each other down that the real issue can come to light. As I’ve realized with so many other things this is a purely systematic issue and needs to be approached as such. Take it up with the health care professionals who are pimping their lies. Calling a mom an idiot serves no other purpose but to glorify yourself for being SO SO SO smart! Go you! Sadly, you’re the only person on your team. 

Hello, friends! I realize it’s been quite some time since Opal & I last wrote, but as it turns out - being a mom and a baby can be REALLY time consuming! Opal is now 8 weeks old and is thriving! At her last visit to the pediatrician 2 weeks ago she weighed a whopping 10 pounds 3 ounces! She’s super long to boot. This time, however, she didn’t shoot projectile poop at the doctor. 

We went on our first trip in an airplane together to Florida on February 26. She was GREAT! Following the tips of moms who have gone before me, Opal was a great travel companion and didn’t cry at all on the plane except for maybe a “where’s the boob” whimper on occasion. Dave later joined us in Miami and we visited both my parents for some great memories and good times. She had her dedication service on March 6th and so many people came out to meet her! The service was beautiful and my best friend from college, Rose, came down with her husband Tony to stand in as godparents for the baby. 

Traveling with a baby proved to be not as difficult as I ended up making it haha. I swear I packed EVERYTHING this baby could possibly want until the age of 15. Next time I will be sure to travel a lot lighter - Dave will certainly make sure of that. 

One of the more important announcements I want to make is that having Opal changed the direction my life was headed. Okay, obvious statement is obvious, but what I mean is a career change. I’ve begun the process of studying to become a Board Certified Lactation Consultant. I see so many women in need and so few one on one resources for them. There are many forums online, but that only accesses women who are privileged enough to have the internet. Swedish Covenant Hospital has 2 lactation consultants and Prentice which has something like 15,000 births a year and ONE LACTATION CONSULTANT. Mind-blowing. This is where the “lactating professional” comes in - courtesy of my mother’s faux pas that cracked me up. If I get there in the next couple years though I’m sure I WILL be a lactating professional haha. 

It’s going to be difficult and expensive, but I really feel like this is my calling. Boobs are my business and business is good.

And now for some pictures! 

Here is Opal voguing with Grandma Missy:

Opal & Mommy (that’s me!) hanging out with friends.

Opie meeting her Pop-Pop (my dad) for the first time!

And for the kicker…baby’s first smile. :)

Hey there! The purpose of this blog is to journal about our new family starring little Opal for our family and friends to keep up! 

Opal June Monokian-Koppel was born 7 pounds 3 ounces on January 6, 2001 at 5:44 pm at Swedish Covenant Hospital in Chicago, IL. At her birth was myself, her father Dave, his mother Becky, & our great midwives Amy & Hannah. 

Birth Story

At 4:50 AM on January 6th, I woke up to use the restroom. I noticed a bit of bloody show and almost immediately I had my first contraction. I attempted to lay back down but I couldn’t fall back asleep. So I decided to get into the bathtub with a cold glass of water and time my contractions to see if this was the real deal or more practice contractions. They were coming at a steady 7 minutes apart so I decided to give the hospital a call to get the opinion of a midwife. I called and spoke to Gina and she told me to continue to relax, sit in the tub, and eat something with lots of vitamins and to keep my appointment at 9:30 that morning. 

Well I couldn’t make it that long. Around 8:30 AM I decided it would be best to wake Dave up and let him know that it is, indeed, showtime. We got our stuff together, woke up our roommate Sammi, and had her drive us to the hospital. 

Upon our arrival my contractions went from a steady 7 minutes apart to a very STRONG 3 minutes apart. I arrived 3 centimeters dilated and 90% effaced. I was admitted immediately. For those who aren’t aware, I spent that last 2 weeks of my pregnancy on bed rest because I had pregnancy induced hypertension (high blood pressure). So after laboring for about 10 hours with no interventions my blood pressure skyrocketed and I couldn’t see anything but dots, was vomiting, and struggled to breathe. The doctor on call insisted on an epidural, but my midwives knew that this was against my wishes. However, due to my increasing blood pressure the midwives suggested I get a partial epidural which, to be honest, I was kind of relieved to hear about because the pain was so unbearable. It knocked me out for about an hour and a half and then wore off. Apparently the doctor on call was insisting I get Pitocin as well, but my midwives stalled long enough that by the time I woke up I was 10 centimeters dilated and 100% effaced. Around 4:30pm I yelled and yelled for Amy & Hannah because I HAD to push this baby out. Every contraction was worse than the prior and were about 30 seconds apart. I may have yelled at Dave that I will never have another child again haha. So the midwives finally joined me and after several positions and one hour, little Opal joined us in the world at 5:44pm!!

The labor was more difficult than I imagined, exasperated by the fact that it happened so quickly and due to my blood pressure, but it was SO VERY WORTH IT. I even took back the statement of not having another child, because no feeling compares to that of holding your child after 9 months of sharing a body. The pains of pregnancy and childbirth are like a distant memory - a dream even - because this reality is the greatest thing I could ever imagine. Dave and I are so grateful for our baby girl. 

Since bringing her home we’ve enjoyed every minute. My mother flew in from Miami and has been a great help and a great source of wisdom. She’s even cooked a meal or two! All the crying, pooping, and sleepless nights have definitely been the highlight of my life. I do, however, miss my friends and working and will get back to the real world in due time, but there is no way I’m going to rush through it because I refuse to miss a moment with Opie. 

Until later!